Day 14 - it hard to explain

You might be wondering when I pur Glee's version of you have more friends then you know here. Well I tell you.

There a put of the song that says about pain and fear, that as a child and even now as a 21 years old I know the pain and fears still surround me. Some of which are to fresh of a battle wound to explain why over a blog. 

Like I want to tell people about these things but if I talk about them, that they going to reopen and I will never get them close again, but at the same time I fear if I don't talk about them that they going to reopen anyway. 

I need to start listening to this song and realise that I do have more friends then I know, even though I don't deserve any friends. It just been so hard for me to open up about me struggling, even though right now I'm am really struggling. So that why I believe I don't deserve anyone, as you guys give me so much. When there so much pain, anger, feeling of being lost, lonely, felling and thought of that I be better of dead, which happens at least once a day. 

I so want to tell people why I cannot go to Malta or reason why I am scared to go there but a blog is not the best place. 

On a happier not I posted a review of 2014 Walking on Sunshine on mine and my best friends Emma blog here the link;

http://emzeemediamania.blogspot.co.uk/2017/08/walking-on-sunshine-zee-tay-review.html